thrix’s domain

Hi,

Just want to share with you some of the pics taken last Monday when the
remains of Cory Aquino passed by in front of our ofc bldg here in Makati.
Sorry for the poor resolution, some of it was taken from a cellfone camera only
(thanks to my boss, hehehe) and some were from the Friendster Cory Aquino fansite. You may want to check some news websites (e.g.
inquirer.net, etc.) for clearer pics.

paseo de roxas cor ayala avenue.

the truck where the casket is placed while trailing behind are the coasters with the Aquino family/friends inside.

top view of the casket being guarded by 4 reps of the AFP, Navy, Marines and PNP.

At first, I cannot relate much with some of the people who were there
yesterday when they tend to compare their experience with that of Ninoy’s
20plus years ago. My memories of EDSA is limited to the documentaries I
just watched thru TV years after it happened.

But last Monday, I somehow understood the reaction of those people that were
born before me. I understood by seeing and feeling. The crowd is so huge,
even the mere sight from our ofc window is overwhelming. Just by looking at
the people who braved the noonday heat and were patiently standing at Ayala
Avenue up to the stretch of Paseo De Roxas Streets is enough to give me the
chills. The replay on TV says that approximately 20,000 people were in Ayala alone. Not to mention the rest of the Pinoys who were on other parts of the Metro during that time when the procession started from LSGH up to the Manila
Cathedral.

When I got home from work last night, I was able to watch the late telecast of the Necrological Service c/o Studio 23. I especially liked the eulogy of Teddy Boy Locsin saying that Cory made him a better person. I also liked the speech of Mr. De Quiros, who is a former critic of the Cory Administration. He narrated that there was even a time when Kris invited him to her show years ago and asked him, “Why are you so mean to my mother?” He admired her being blunt at such a young age then and he only replied with a smile hoping to disarm Kris and ask no more. But one event in his life turned the tide. It was when Cory visited the wake of his mother and sincerely offered her condolonces and prayer. He ended his speech by saying something like “In the end, former Pres. Cory Aquino was, forgive my French, a one damn good person.” Last but not the least, the eulogy of Maur Aquino-Lauchico (sister of Ninoy) was equally touching. Fighting back tears, she ended her speech by saying “Tomorrow, when she will be finally laid to rest, she will probably raise an eyebrow if she will hear me say that I consider her as my BFF (Best Friend Forever)…. I love you Cory, looking forward to seeing you again, but hopefully not too soon…”

As expected, today is even more memorable as the remains of the late President Aquino will finally be laid to rest. Even by just watching TV, I was moved by Fr. Arevalo and Fr. Soc Villegas, whose words obviously came from the heart and showed the personal relationship they had with the former president.

As of this writing, the funeral procession is still ongoing. I’m sure she is very happy in heaven seeing all of the people paying their last respects to her. May she rest in peace.

My daughter and I always make it a point to go out (just the two of us, e.g. without her father) at least once a month and we call it our “bonding moment”.

A week after our dept outing, there was a Brigada Eskwela that was sponsored by our company and I said to myself this might be a good bonding moment. A change, compared to our usual going to the malls or watching a movie or eating at a new restaurant.

Waking up is already a challenge for both of us because we normally wake up w/o alarm clocks on a Saturday. Thankfully we were able to arrive at the ofc at the agreed time.

We left the ofc via carpool to a public elementary school in Taguig. We took our pics first before getting started:

Our task is to paint the chairs and tables inside one classroom and the windows too if there is still time left. Since we are all girls in our group, the Head of HR joined us in the classroom together with a guy from the other department (we need male species to help us carry the chairs and tables around the classroom as we paint).

I never realized how tiring it will be because it was my first time to join this endeavor. That’s the reason why we don’t have pictures “after”. We don’t have the courage anymore to show our dirty shirts and oily faces, hehehe…

Through all these, I am still thankful because the weather that day was not too humid (we also have working electric fans in the classroom we were assigned in). The HR and SCC made sure also that we were given comfortable transpo to and from the school. Most important of all, they made sure that we were gastronomically satisfied!

The experience was not only a bonding moment for me and my daughter. But she also got to appreciate how blessed she is to be studying in a private school that wouldn’t wait for 12 years in order for their chairs to be repainted. I also hope that she will also give more importance to her education now more than ever.

You might be asking, will I join the next Brigada Eskwela next year? My answer is: Yes!

I read this phrase from one of our client’s email, “My train of thought has been derailed…” I was like, it was the exact thing that has happened to me, that’s why I haven’t been able to blog for weeks… Quite a nice excuse for this late blog don’t you think?
Anyways, what I will share with you is what happened about almost a month ago… It was last May 15-17, 2009.

May 15, 2009 (Friday), after ofc, me and my oficemates head to our bossing’s resthouse in Calatagan, Batangas for our dept summer outing. Due to the global financial crisis, we had no budget this year for such activity. However, most of us decided to still push through with it and got the budget from our own pockets. Our boss offered his place so that all we need to do is contribute for the transportation and food. Not a bad idea actually, because we only get to spend around Ps.500.00 per head for this overnight trip. Our dept is surrounded by a lot of generous people so everything that wasn’t covered by the budget anymore  was gladly taken care of.
We arrived at Calatagan, Batangas around 11PM. We had our midnight snacks, played bingo and had a few drinks (boy, how I missed tequila, lol). Because me and my close friends are not yet sleepy, we decided to go for a swim while most of my officemates slept already. Personally, I love swimming when the sun is not around so I won’t worry about getting sunburned and not having to go through the hassle of putting on sunblock. Around 4AM, I hit the sack
My plan to go jogging along the beach failed because I wake up at around 8AM already. The beach was just a few minutes walk away from the house. When I saw it, I couldn’t resist taking a dip because the beach is clean and there are only a few people swimming. But afraid as I am of the harmful rays of the sun, I headed to the showers at around 10AM
Our lunch that Saturday was a feast! Everybody had their stomachs full. At around 4PM, we were on our way home.

So when I went home, I only had the chance to change the clothes from my bag to new ones. May 17 at around 6AM and with only a few hours of sleep, I am on my way to Amana Waterpark in Bulacan with my sisters and pamangkins. We waited for our parents and my other sister in Manila before heading to the resort.

The place was still new (there’s an ongoing construction at the back portion of the resort) but nevertheless nice. I wasn’t able to go for a swim though. Aside from the fact that it was particularly hot that day, I feel that I was “lowbatt” so I just stayed mostly at our cottage.

Tiring as it may be, I have a grand time… Being with my friends/officemates and my family for just one weekend is something worthy of all the preparation and effort.

note: some pics are in my friendster photos

Last week, my family and I went to the cemetery to visit Tristan. While putting the candles near the tombstone, something crossed my mind. Tristan’s date of birth (19) is the same with his life span (1year and 9 months)! Could it be that when God gave Tristan to me, He had given me some sort of a sign that Tristan would only live this long? Hmmm, weird huh?

After years of having a busy “mommy” life, I am guilty to having said “no” a couple of times just to manage my priorities. Kaya after watching Jim Carrey’s “Yes Man” recently, I promised to say yes to every opportunity
Good thing my “hiskul” friends planned on an overnight trip to Pampanga from April 11-12. So after days of contemplating, I finally said YES! (I was the last to send the confirmation via email).

We are only 6 in the group. Marcky and I decided to sleep on the night of Good Friday at Piw and Mhayee’s house so we can leave early the next day. As expected we weren’t able to sleep well because Marcky and I spent until 1AM talking to each other until we felt sleepy. Then we woke up at around 3-4AM because we still have to fetch Ces and Ayi along the way…

Piw is our official driver for the trip even if there’s 4 of us who knows how to drive, lol. Reason: It’s been a long time since I drove a van that far, while Mhayee and Ces were not used to driving vans.

Anyways, we stopped at MCdo ATC to have a quick breakfast before heading to SLEX. While on the road, I felt happy inside because it was my first out of town trip with them.

And it was all worth it! We stayed at Piwi’s aunt’s house in Pampanga (we had another breakfast there when we arrived! lol…).

It was my first time to have a late visita iglesia in a province (oftentimes I do it in Manila and Muntinlupa). We visited some of the spectacular churches there:

1. Bacolor Church - San Guillermo Church (this was the church used for Santino’s “May Bukas Pa”). We had fun taking pics at the house of the mayor (near the church), even the donation box and of course si Bro!

3. Guagua Church - Immaculate Conception - this Church looks quite new compared with the other churches we visited but beautiful still

Before we head to NLEX, we stopped by  Razon’s to eat halu-halo. Again, my first time to eat puting halu-halo (was so used to eating versions of chowking and that of my mother-in-law’ s… yung may ube, munggo, sago, etc…). We also stopped by Susie’s Cuisine to buy more pasalubong

I arrived home at Sunday shortly after lunch with a happy face. This trip was one I would always remember. It was where I experienced Pampanga, its culture, its people, with friends that are very dear to me. Till our next!

p.s. I have posted our other pics in a separate folder in my Friendster account. You may want to check it out

My current sick leave came as a blessing in disguise… It allowed me to catch up on my sleep, read a book and most of all, it allowed me to write/blog, which is one thing I’ve always liked doing but never have the luxury of time to do so.

This book review is long overdue. I was able to read it a few months ago. It was a gift from my friend since high school. Honestly, title pa lang ayaw ko nang basahin because I know it’s about death. And of course, known to the people close to me, I’m still mourning for my son’s death and I’m afraid reading a book like this would make me sad even more.

But I was wrong… As I go through the pages, I began to relate to the parents who wrote the book (As an overview, the authors are parents relating their respective stories on the loss of their children over sickness, accidents, suicide, etc.). It made me understand myself in the process. This is a must-read for parents like me.

Before I end this, I would like to share some quotes I got from the book…

“When a child loses his/her parents, the child becomes an orphan, when someone’s spouse dies, he becomes a widower, and she becomes a widow. But there is no word for a parent who loses a child…”

“It seems that what follows is a longer phase of intense, almost unbearable emotional pain, of weeping, crying, feelings of helplessness, and hopelessness, of regret and despair. This period feels endless…”

“Then somehow there is anger — anger at doctors for not saving our loved ones, anger at ourselves for not doing something we think should have done, anger at God for letting this happen to us and for abandoning us, anger at the universe for being what it is. For a parent losing a child, anger is accompanied by guilt. Guilt feelings dominate — both irrational and justified…”

“Everyone spoke consolingly about how young we were and how easily we could have another. I heard their sincerity when they told us and they knew how we felt. But I also know that no one who has not experienced it can honestly say they know how it feels to lose a child. They can only imagine…”

“There will be sadness, a certain sadness that will never really go away. But with the acceptance comes peace — there is peace in sadness, We accept, despite dreams and fantasies, that the dead will not return to us in life…”

“When you have a dying child, you learn how to take each day one day at a time. You learn how to find joy in things people normally take for granted. You celebrate small victories… When I look back, I realize every day was a blessing, every day was one more day with our precious son… My son’s fight for his life has inspired me to keep on pushing, to keep on striving. Who am I to complain about life, to give up when things get difficult? I must go on. Like my son, I must persevere…”

I watched the movie to check if it was Oscar-worthy… The movie is about a young man who won the game show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire, India version”. He was suspected to cheat his way to the millions given his background (which was shown thru flashbacks and in-between questions throughout the movie).

Jamal didn’t graduated from school. At a young age, he was a witness to the poverty in his country, violence, child labor, etc… And because of these life experiences, he was able to answer all the questions correctly. Things and situation that are not new to us, Filipinos. Some scenes are similar to the slums of Manila, the children forced to beg in the streets, etc. A sad and harsh reality.

I liked the movie, except for the last question, because that was the ONLY question he answered using a wild guess… Perhaps thru the inspiration he got when he heard once again the voice of the woman she loved (his last lifeline “call a friend”, gave him the opportunity to call the only telephone number he knew, his brother’s. The phone was with her during the time of call) …

Given that one flaw versus the over-all impression I have of the movie, I let it go… I liked the movie nevertheless

Corny as others may think, I really don’t care… I wanna shout a message to the man…

To Francism, thanks for the inspiration. Thank you for sharing your life with your blogs so that “ordinary” persons like me can have a peek of what an “extraordinary” person you are. Everything about you inspired me to live one’s life to the fullest one day at a time. A life with meaning… worthy of writing, “old-school, diary” type, electronically, or otherwise…

I, too, just recently lost someone very dear to my heart. He also died due to a medical condition as rare and as complex as yours (his was multiple congenital heart disease in its simplest term). Just one favor tol in case you happen to meet a cute and handsome angel by the name of Tristan up there… Can you hug and kiss him for me? And tell him how much I miss him and I love him? Thanks in advance ha?
Goodbye my friend (feeling close, hehehe), I guess I’ll just be fulfilling my dream of meeting you in the afterlife….

R.I.P.

First, thank you to a co-fan of the Twilight Saga for the cute wallpaper. =)

Ok, I wrote this blog to share why I like the Twilight Saga, not to convince or justify or whatever, but just to share. =)

The Twilight Books were made famous in the Philippines after the first book was made into a movie and was shown last November 2008. At first, I was kinda pissed off because some rumors said that the Harry Potter movie was set aside to give way to it and to the “Dark Knight” which was shown a few months back. But realizing now how the Twilight movie (and the whole Saga for that matter) would affect me, I think HP producers made a good decision. I am a self-confessed HP fan myself (I read all the books and watched its movies in the big screen) and now I feel that waiting for July 2009 to watch “The Half-blood Prince” is not a bad thing after all.

The first book (Twilight) landed into my hands after I just read “Angels and Demons” (1st week of Dec 2008). Weeks after Tristan’s death, I just want to keep my hands and my mind busy, and reading books were one my ways of coping. I decided to just borrow the first book from an officemate just to see for myself if it’s worth all the hype it’s getting. I didn’t watched the movie first, I said I wanted to read the book first (just like what I did with HP).

I was drawn into the book and it took me only a few days to read it. I was surprised of myself because like with Harry Potter’s books, I couldn’t bring the book down. I bring it to work (I am more of an old-school gal, the e-books don’t give me the same feeling of satisfaction, lol) so that I can read it on my way to and from the office. I only stop when my migraine gets in the way, hehehe…. And true enough, I was instantly hooked! (more specifically to Edward Cullen’s mushy lines that would make every girl feel “kilig” all over lol!). However, since my officemates have already watched the movie ahead of me, I just settled myself in watching the movie over the Internet. Of course, the characters in the film all look gorgeous and the scenes from the film completed the picture of my imagination.

The bookworm in me immediately took over… I read New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, so fast that I was finished during the long Christmas vacation (thanks to my officemates who were generous enough to lend me their precious books!).

The books came to me just in time when I was feeling alone and lonely just after my son’s death. It sort of brought me into another world wherein I can just be an spectator/audience; that I don’t have to do anything or put on a happy face. In a short time, I was able to just sit back, read and watch another’s life (Bella’s) unfold before me. The books in a way, gave me what I needed at that time… a short break… a short time to be invisible…

So what’s in store for me after all these? I’m still looking forward to tidbits of news about the upcoming movie, the actors, the author, and of course to the completed version of “Midnight Sun…”

Even if I was told about Tristan’s heart condition when he’s still a few months old, I still wasn’t able to prepare myself when his time came. I guess, nobody can actually be really prepared for the death of a loved one.

It’s been almost a month since he passed away and there are still moments when thoughts of him will pass through my mind and I will suddenly feel sad because the thought of him gone will immediately come next.

It was just the small things that make me sad and happy remembering them… Every morning before I leave for work and he would say goodbye to me; when I get home, he’s the first person I see (he was used to me carrying him as soon as I enter the house even if I haven’t eaten dinner or changed to my “pambahay” clothes); he would sat beside me or watch TV when I use the computer at night; we would brush our teeth together before going to sleep; because we usually sleep late, we would watch TV for “Bandila” and if he’s isn’t sleepy yet, we would read books (his fave is his book of Barney). He sleeps beside me because my husband works at night during that time.

I miss everything about him, his smile, his voice, his cry, the way he walks, the way he calls me “mama”, the way he calls his ate “achai” (because he can’t prounounce ate chai), the way he dances (with his hands only), the way he says “wow” when he’s happy, even the way he and chai have their petty fights.

And now, they’re all just part of my memory. Thanks to technology, I was able to save some of his videos (go to youtube and look for thrix08, i uploaded some of his videos there) and I was able to record his voices in my fone.

We bought a cabinet to store some of his things. I still can’t get myself to give some of them away. I only managed to gave an unused can of milk to a friend. But the rest, books, toys, clothes, shoes, etc. They’re still with me… I guess, I will be keeping them for now.

Honestly, I can’t say that I moved on already. I don’t know when and I don’t know if it’s really needed. There are a few things I know for sure, I will pray harder to seek God’s help and assistance to get through this experience and I will try to be stronger not only for myself but for my family as well.

p.s.

Let me share with you portions of the song from Mariah Carey’s “Bye-bye”

I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on I wish I could talk to you for a while Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And it’s true that you’ve reached a better place Still I’d give the world to see your face And be right here next to you But it’s like you’re gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say… bye bye….